To me, it's always heartwarming to see people who were obese not only lose weight but actually get to a lean state, which I honestly think is tougher for people who have that tendency towards gain weight. Curious what your habits are like now vs then? How long have you maintained and how have you managed it?
I'm going to suggest you see a therapist while you are trying to lose weight. It will keep you in perspective mentally. I lost 75 lbs and didn't attend therapy, so no matter what anyone said to me I still looked fat because I am. Any progress I made I wasn't able to turn into a positive mental process. You don't have to see them weekly but regularly enough that if you hit yourself with backup body image issues, you'll be able to work on processing it.
Did you ever see a therapist and found it helpful? I've actually thought about seeing a therapist. I'm skeptical though. I feel that weight loss and maintenance is something that society doesn't understand yet, so people don't understand it unless they've been through it themselves. If someone's been naturally thin, they either think you have limited self control or they think it's your genes and you're doomed. If someone's fat themselves and haven't lost , your discussion might trigger their own insecurity. I found it helpful for other reasons when I wound up going to therapy.
Dating After Weight Loss
It also helped when I was near the tail end of the weight loss at the time when I was explaining how I don't feel any different or notice anything different even though others did. Then again I have a lot of other issues that therapy has to deal with before they deal with my weight loss, but I'm going to be going back to regular therapy with that in mind Because I did a regain when I got promoted at my job.
In my case I lost 60 pounds to gain the confidence I needed to put myself out in the dating world. I found that as a good incentive to get healthier and fitter. Honestly, I'm actually trying to gain weight as I put myself out there, you know, see how fat I can get before guys just go: "I'm actually going to turn down that blowjob that you offered. I can't go through with it.
I haven't been laid in 3 years, but I can't get it up, not even with your mouth. I have a limit and you are past it, have a nice night. Even if it doesn't make you look better, if it's affecting your self confidence, then go for it. That's not to say you can't date in the interim, however; just don't lose sight of your goals. I was exercising regularly when I was looking for someone, but now that I can't find anyone, I just got depressed and stopped working out.
Instead I'm focusing on work to get my mind off of dying alone. You can be dating while losing weight. When I first started using dating sites I used to get a ton of messages being like 50 pounds overweight and used to have long term relationships as well.
- Ask Polly: Do I Have to Lose Weight to Find Love?;
- crack the fat loss code week 1.
- ways to reduce body fat.
- optimal health weight loss challenge.
- does fruit water help lose weight.
I just made sure to have a full length picture, and if asked being we met let them know of my weight. I never had a guy have a problem with it. I ate myself into lbs in 8th grade after depression got to me and I self medicated with food behind my parents back, particularly ice cream. I'd actually recommend he do a full bulk cycle and then cut.
It's really hars to build muscle and lose fat at the same time. It might be possible but working out heavy on a calorie deficit is just straight up harder than working out heavy on a bulk. And building that extra muscle raises your TDEE so the fat just melts off when you go on a deficit. Yeah it is, but he probably wants to cut lbs before bulking I understand he would raise his TDEE but the difference relative to just including some cardio and lowering cals is on another planet.
Well yeah, increasing cardio and going on deficit is the fastest way to burn fat but if he also wants to build muscle it makes sense to build the muscle first and let it help him with the cut.
MORE IN Wellness
I just disagree on the second part of your statement, I think it'd be relatively even in terms of how fast he builds muscle, especially since he'd be a noob to the gym. You get serious gains while cutting if you're new to it, you learn form and it allows for heavier lifts once at a healthy body fat percent. I don't think your way is bad, it just seems easy for a noob to fuck up and get depressed with the inevitable fat gain coupled with weight gain, he likely won't have the cleanest of bulks on attempt 1. Look into keto.
Its a low carb diet. I've lost 30lbs in a few months. She has topped my gold giving scheme. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. All rights reserved. OkCupid comments. Want to join? Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new link.
Submit a new text post. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Blur out the faces of anyone who isn't you. Censor any name that is not yours. You can post your own profile, but you cannot post anyone else's without moderator's permission. Submit screenshot links to your profile so you get maximum views, as not everyone has your particular dating app.
Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and join one of thousands of communities. OkCupid submitted 2 years ago by shrimpbaguette. Want to add to the discussion?
Here's the Real Reason Why You Might Lose Weight in a New Relationship
When I was fat, men talked over me, told me I was worthless, and I regularly heard, "Lose the weight and we'll talk. I call that feeling My Inner Fat Girl.
- suitable breakfast to lose weight.
- Want to add to the discussion?.
- MORE IN LIFE.
- Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!
- Dating After Weight Loss!
- Here's the Real Reason Why You Might Lose Weight in a New Relationship;
I also get very uncomfortable or even angry when I see people who snubbed me before hitting me up again. In a word, I'm resentful. Inner Fat Girl lets me know for sure what would have happened if I was not as thin and conventionally attractive. My Inner Fat Girl has an amazing way of making me angry, distrustful, hateful, entitled, and to a point, smug.
My Inner Fat Girl, on a daily basis, reminds me of how terrible people were to me when I was bigger. It makes me resent people, even total strangers. It also makes me wonder what they really want from me. Is it actually my looks? My money? How can I simply forgive them and believe them now?
Whether I like it or not, my Inner Fat Girl makes me hold my heart close to my chest and makes my really, truly unwilling to want a committed relationship. What should keep me, really, from having half a dozen or more men buying me flowers, dinner, and having me crush them the way they did to me?
Why should I want it now that it's being offered to me by the same cruel types that broke me when I was sick? As bad as it sounds, I love hearing guys lament their girlfriends cheating on them or using them these days. Sucks to be you, though, cause girls like me who used to be fat got wise to your shallow behavior. You deserved what you got.